I worry, I fear.

Hello friends,

So this week, no last week, I finally got round to going to a meeting of Walden Writers. I had first joined their mailing list in 2009 but what with life, the universe, my own miserable inertia, it has taken this long to go. It was really nice to meet people going through their own trials and tribulations and more importantly, it’s great to meet some established authors. Not only so I can get their advice and ideas but just to start building up a network that I can tap into when it’s time to try my books in front of agents.

It is with some regret that last year I sent round my first draft of Tangier to a bunch of agents. I got a couple of interested sniffs who asked to look at the whole manuscript but no further. Can you guess what the deliberate mistake was? Yep – too bloomin’ lazy to do a god job and relying on a flawed first draft. I haven’t gone back to it yet but I know that I will die of embarrassment when I review it. It’s what has happened with The Coming Of Night as I have been working through it – and yes, I sent that out a couple of years ago as well.

I do worry that I have shot my bolt with both manuscripts and that  I am wasting time on them.  Should I just start with something new? It just doesn’t seem right after the time and effort that has gone into them. I feel I owe it to myself to crack on and make them into something which, at the very least, I can turn around and say, “Yep, I’ve done all I can. Time to move on.” I know that they can both be better. It is causing me some concern as my last day in the office draws near, I really don’t want to waste the time that has been gifted me by my lovely wife.

I was also thinking about putting up excerpts  of both books and indeed the starting words of two new stories to see what people think. What do people think? That wasn’t rhetorical by the way.


One response to “I worry, I fear.

  1. Dude please don’t be despondent, you are a beautiful talented man, and even though I have read neither of the books you are fretting over I instinctively know they are worth keeping. Look at how rubbish you thought Redoubt was first time, but then you tweaked it and tweaked it some more, you got the thing published and then over 10 people bought it!! It’s like a fairy tale man.

    You are your own worst critic, which is good because it helps to reduce that laziness you (and I) are cursed with. But remember this, I am your biggest fan (except for your lovely wife of course) and I am here to tell you that I believe in you. Pull out your A game man.

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